Anything for you

I'm mad. Sitting alone at night, crying hell a lot of tears. this is just not me. I'm supposed to be a very tough girl like what everybody said. "nina is a very tough girl." "nina is a playgirl." "nina ah? nina is a heartless girl."
Am i like that? then, why am i crying now? why am i feeling very sad now? listening all the broken heart song and cry? this is me at home, away from any eyes that could see me apart from my dog. a mute witness.

I'm crying i think because of what people say "in love". and i fell in love with someone that i can't be with. can i fall in love?
why people said love is a wonderful thing? if it's a wonderful thing, then why am i in tears now? is it wrong for me to fall in love? is love just not for me? why am i feeling damn blue?

"I'd still do anything for you
I'll play your game.
you hurt me through and through
but you can have your way..."

you hurt me through and through but here i am still in love with you and i am here still with tears on my cheek crying out loud for loving you. and here i am waiting for your love.

"I can pretend each time i see you
that i don't care and i don't need you
though inside i feel like dying
but you can never see me crying..."

maybe you don't know that i love you so much. but yes i love you like there's no tomorrow. I'll keep it in my heart cos i'm too proud to show it to you. And i know i'm crying for loving you. why do i have to love you?

"I hope you find someone to please you
someone who care and never leave you
but if that someone ever hurt you
you just might need a friend to turn to..."

And i know you're maybe in love with someone else but my heart just can't let me love somebody else. so i'll just stay. here. waiting for you in tears. and again why do i have to love you.... this much?

"i'd do anything for you
I'll give you up
if that's what i should do
to make you happy..."

I have to be strong and give you up. though i have to cry. and here i am AGAIN. crying. trying to just let you go. i'm trying to convince myself that everything will be all right eventhough i have to go through the tearfull night everyday.
I will let you go. eventhough my heart still want to stay here wait for your love.