I won't be sad if you find someone.
I will be very happy for you.
I promise.
I hope that someone loves you
more than i do.
I'll wish you happines
if you find somebody else
i really mean what i say now.
I hope that somebody
found that precious things in you
like what i found.
But if you caught me crying
don't ever feel sorry.
Just look away
and pretend you never see me crying.
I will not be sad.
I will just miss you
Cos i know i will never be able
to let you go.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Saturday, October 16, 2004
girl...(II)
If i didn't do it,
maybe mommy can hug you now.
Maybe you are sleeping beside me now.
Or maybe crying out loud.
If i didn't do it,
maybe mommy can kiss you now,
touch your cheek
or maybe looking at you
while you are sleeping.
Girl...
If mommy didn't do it,
mommy won't feel giulty like now.
Mommy won't feel lonely again.
I'm sorry, love.
mommy did it.
And you never even had a chance
to see this world.
maybe mommy can hug you now.
Maybe you are sleeping beside me now.
Or maybe crying out loud.
If i didn't do it,
maybe mommy can kiss you now,
touch your cheek
or maybe looking at you
while you are sleeping.
Girl...
If mommy didn't do it,
mommy won't feel giulty like now.
Mommy won't feel lonely again.
I'm sorry, love.
mommy did it.
And you never even had a chance
to see this world.
girl...
I'm sorry, girl.
Mommy can't hug you.
I'm really sorry, love.
Mommy can't kiss you.
Mommy want to hug and kiss you.
Really...
But mommy can't do that.
Don't ask mommy where your dad is.
Cos I don't know where he is.
Mommy also don't understand
why i did this thing.
Mommy really kove you, darling
but mommy can't have you.
Sorry...
that mommy have to kill you.
Mommy can't hug you.
I'm really sorry, love.
Mommy can't kiss you.
Mommy want to hug and kiss you.
Really...
But mommy can't do that.
Don't ask mommy where your dad is.
Cos I don't know where he is.
Mommy also don't understand
why i did this thing.
Mommy really kove you, darling
but mommy can't have you.
Sorry...
that mommy have to kill you.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
tears
Tears coming out from my eyes.
It's been long time since the last time
and this happen again?
I thought i ran out of it
but now i feel it on my cheek
coming down to the ground
hit it very hard cos the flows.
I don't want to feel it
but i can't control.
My heart seems stop
i can't feel anything
except for my heart is torn.
Covering my face
preventing the tears to coming out again
but it still flow through the fingers.
Make it wet and pain.
and here i am....
infront of my monitor
alone again......
It's been long time since the last time
and this happen again?
I thought i ran out of it
but now i feel it on my cheek
coming down to the ground
hit it very hard cos the flows.
I don't want to feel it
but i can't control.
My heart seems stop
i can't feel anything
except for my heart is torn.
Covering my face
preventing the tears to coming out again
but it still flow through the fingers.
Make it wet and pain.
and here i am....
infront of my monitor
alone again......
another night in my life...
Another cigarette and another night
only cigarette and the internet
accompany me the whole night.
Another sleepless night
when the whole world sleeping
and i'm still here, smoking.
Light another cigarrete
breathe it through my lungs
and another words for my poem
my eyes still awake staring the world
and my brain still giving another word
keeps me awake this night.
I'm still awake
when the night fell into a deep sleep.
When the night turns darker and cold.
only cigarette and the internet
accompany me the whole night.
Another sleepless night
when the whole world sleeping
and i'm still here, smoking.
Light another cigarrete
breathe it through my lungs
and another words for my poem
my eyes still awake staring the world
and my brain still giving another word
keeps me awake this night.
I'm still awake
when the night fell into a deep sleep.
When the night turns darker and cold.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
fucking bastard!
Kelvin: can u add me tan_60@hotmail.com
if u wan to add me msn
kelvin_lee5678@hotmail.com
can we have sex
becareful of this user on friendster another despo with greedy fucking itchy cock!!!! his photo on friendster is the photo of him on the beach wearing white tshirt and black shorts.
to Kelvin if u manage to read my blog: GET YOUR FUCKING COCK OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
i miss you
you're the first thing in my head
attacks me whenever i wake up everyday.
the image of you kisses me good morning
hugs me and wakes my soul.
i miss you.
that's the word.
and i never feel this way all my life.
now i know why people said love is fantastic
cos it always make me smile
whenever i'm thinking about you.
imagining you every night hugs me to sleep,
imagining your voice through the late night wind,
saying that you will always be here with me
no matter what will happened.
the picture of you just popping out from my head.
i only see, hear and feel you
even when you are not around.
i love you
and i will always want to be next to you
no matter what will happen to us.
attacks me whenever i wake up everyday.
the image of you kisses me good morning
hugs me and wakes my soul.
i miss you.
that's the word.
and i never feel this way all my life.
now i know why people said love is fantastic
cos it always make me smile
whenever i'm thinking about you.
imagining you every night hugs me to sleep,
imagining your voice through the late night wind,
saying that you will always be here with me
no matter what will happened.
the picture of you just popping out from my head.
i only see, hear and feel you
even when you are not around.
i love you
and i will always want to be next to you
no matter what will happen to us.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Migrain....
Here i am back on my bed, turning side to side with a huge pain of migrain, became devastated about things. No life, no career, no companion. Keep mingling with the wrong people and all the bastard guys with fucking greedy selfish penis.
Here i am back on my bed again turning side to side still in pain, thinking how all things will turn out to be? No clue...No answer... Always get the unanswered questions popping around in my bloody head and only turn out as migrain.
Sick of what had happened and don't care about what will happened to me. Living in this unpredictable life is just like trying to get yourself out from maze with no turning back.
I'm sick of playing now. but when i think i want to be serious, everyone plays with you except my mom who turns out to be TOO serious.
why don't just all the bloody people support me of what i am doing with my life? why all the bloody people must turn out to be enemy of mine? why?
only GOD knows the answer ans it's for HIM to know, for me to find out. looks like a quiz heh...??? who will give me that bloody score? and as if i care....!!!!!!
I just want to get out from the bloody maze!
Here i am back on my bed again turning side to side still in pain, thinking how all things will turn out to be? No clue...No answer... Always get the unanswered questions popping around in my bloody head and only turn out as migrain.
Sick of what had happened and don't care about what will happened to me. Living in this unpredictable life is just like trying to get yourself out from maze with no turning back.
I'm sick of playing now. but when i think i want to be serious, everyone plays with you except my mom who turns out to be TOO serious.
why don't just all the bloody people support me of what i am doing with my life? why all the bloody people must turn out to be enemy of mine? why?
only GOD knows the answer ans it's for HIM to know, for me to find out. looks like a quiz heh...??? who will give me that bloody score? and as if i care....!!!!!!
I just want to get out from the bloody maze!
Saturday, October 02, 2004
hangover....
i got a huge pain on my stomach and a huge stone sitting on my chest. i can't breathe. too much smoking last night. all the joint in my body seems like binded with rubber. so stiff.
i went clubbing last night.... after so long now i can feel the feeling going clubbing again. the feeling was amazing! for a minute you can feel free. jump around here and there, drink!
I think i had enough of this night life. my body feels like too fragile to dance the whole night like last night. feel so tired now. it is not what i felt two and a half years ago when i went clubbing but then i can still did my presentation in front of the class.
but i realise. it wasn't wrong to went out last night. i really need something that makes me forget abt what is happening to me in the real life. i can't stand it anymore when my mom called me asking abt full time job which i never get since i graduated. i wrote to an agent to find me a full time job. when i was typing, i was totally confuse. i didn't know what job should i find and dunno how much my expected salary.
I think life is really hard. and people who is harder than life can go on. those who are weaker than life itself will end up commit suicide or crazy. and i still dunno which one i could be.
i went clubbing last night.... after so long now i can feel the feeling going clubbing again. the feeling was amazing! for a minute you can feel free. jump around here and there, drink!
I think i had enough of this night life. my body feels like too fragile to dance the whole night like last night. feel so tired now. it is not what i felt two and a half years ago when i went clubbing but then i can still did my presentation in front of the class.
but i realise. it wasn't wrong to went out last night. i really need something that makes me forget abt what is happening to me in the real life. i can't stand it anymore when my mom called me asking abt full time job which i never get since i graduated. i wrote to an agent to find me a full time job. when i was typing, i was totally confuse. i didn't know what job should i find and dunno how much my expected salary.
I think life is really hard. and people who is harder than life can go on. those who are weaker than life itself will end up commit suicide or crazy. and i still dunno which one i could be.
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