Personality Disorder Test

Ikut Ikutan deo aaahhhh

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

*Hasilnya datar-2 aja... boseenn!!!

201100 06:28pm

Kuterdiam dan merenung.
Menyesali semua keputusanku.
Kumelepaskanmu dan membiarkanmu pergi.
Terpuruk ku disini
bersama dengan segala kenangan indah bersamamu.
Akankah semua itu dapat kuraih lagi?
Dapatkah kugenggam lagi
semua janji yang pernah kita ucapkan dulu?
dapatkah kurasakan lagi
pelukan dan hangatnya kasihmu?
Akankah kau bersamaku lagi?

031201 00:15pm

Aku termenung disini ditemani oleh suara angin yang membelai lembut telingaku.
Gejolak rindu yang dengan lembut memanggil jiwaku bergema di hatiku.
Bayanganmu, Cintaku, dengan mesra merayuku di pelupuk mataku.
Kemanakah perginya kau, Cintaku?
Mengapa hanya ada diriku yang rapuh ini diselubungi oleh kegelapan malam yang seolah-olah siap menerkam dan menelanku kedalam penderitaan cinta yang menakutkan dan tak berujung?
Aku akan tetap disini menantimu, Cintaku, sampai kau kembali bersanding di sisiku dengan mesranya bisikan nakal cintamu yang kau bisikkan di telingaku, dengan lembutnya sentuhan jemarimu yang kurasakan di kulitku, dengan gairah cinta yang bergejolak yang kau tunjukkan dalam pelukanmu serta manisnya cinta yang kunikamti di bibirmu melalui ciuman yang kau klabuhkan di bibirku.
Cepatlah kembali, Cintaku... dan sembuhkanlah luka rinduku kepadamu yang sedang meradang perih di hatiku

diskusi kakak beradik di MSN setelah gue post puisi gue "031201 00:15pm"

edria just sent you a Nudge!

You have just sent a Nudge!

edria says:
peee

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
abis makaann

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
makan kimchi nudel

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gue mau aplod puisii

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
heueh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
tapii...

edria says:
|??//??

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
maluuu

edria says:
??????????

edria says:
aplot ajeee

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
huehuhu

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ok deh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gue upload

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
eh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
lu online masih lama?

edria says:
ngantuk gue

edria says:
kaenya engga

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ok

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ya wes

edria says:
naah

edria says:
manahh

edria says:
aplott

edria says:
skarang

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ntarrr

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
blom

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
lagi ketik

edria says:
ya da gw tungguin

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ok

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
dhh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
eh

edria says:
?????????

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
dahh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hehe

edria says:
dahhh\

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hsuhaua

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
puas??????????

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ini puisii uda 6 taun yang lalu oii

edria says:
hwahwhahwhaw

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
liat aja judulnya

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
heuehuh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
bia...

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
diambil dari buku puisi gue yg uda bangkotan

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauah

edria says:
6 taun????

edria says:
hem

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
masih ada puisi-2 yang is punya

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahuah

edria says:
masi ma mas iis??

edria says:
hwahwhahw

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
MASII

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
OMG

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gue baru sadar!

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
OMG

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
eh..

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
bentarrr

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
uda ga

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
oh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
sama yg baruu

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
yg sesudah iss

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
iis

edria says:
marco>>>

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
bukan

edria says:
hwahahwhawhahw

edria says:
emm

edria says:
ohhhhhhhhhhhh

edria says:
bntarrr

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ama yg di singapore punyaa

edria says:
jgn ngomonggg

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauhauahuahauhauahuahau

edria says:
oh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hayo

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hayooo

edria says:
bukan gue kira yg ngasi lu cincin gopean

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
BUKAN!!!!

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
itu william

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahauha

edria says:
whahhwahaw

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hayoo

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
pa namanya

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahu

edria says:
ario

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
bukan

edria says:
ar

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
sedikiiitttt

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
nyrempet

edria says:
aristooo

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
IYAAAAAAAAAAAA!

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
AAAA

edria says:
soalnya si pigi

edria says:
namanya pigi sapa ya

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hmm

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
pigi lah!

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
!

edria says:
bukannnnnnnnnnnn

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
pigi dia yang kasi giut?

edria says:
iyeeeeee

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
dia pernah kasih boneka kan

edria says:
ada namanyaaa

edria says:
nama aristo ama nama lo

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
aina

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahuahauhauahuahauhauha

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
GOBLOG!

edria says:
bukannnnnnn

edria says:
aini?

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
IYA

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
IYAAAAAA
GOBLOGGGG

edria says:
whahwhawhawh

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
SUMPAH GOBLOG SEKALEEEE

edria says:
whahwahha

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gilak

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
lu masih inget ajee

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gue aja uda samar-2 ngingetnya!

edria says:
wahhwahah

edria says:
abisnya

edria says:
yg ngasi nama kan gue

edria says:
aini

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
soale gue panggil tu cowo aito kan

edria says:
oooooooooooooooooooo

edria says:
iyeeeeeeeeeee

edria says:
aini

edria says:
aito nina

edria says:
btul2

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahuahauh!

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahauha

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
gue nyengir-2 sendiri

edria says:
wakakaka

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
eh eh eh

edria says:
apeeeeee

edria says:
gue mau tidur bntar lagi

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ok

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
ya wes

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
anak-2 kemana seh

edria says:
eh

edria says:
ada yg blaes komen lo

edria says:
lo bales gihh

edria says:
whahwha

edria says:
lucu juga ni orang

edria says:
si deo tidur jem 5 pagi

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauha

edria says:
so i dont think he will wake up this time

edria says:
and i dont kno abt sigit

edria says:
kaenya masi ngimpi ma wulwul

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauhaa

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
cepet ajeee

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
uda ada yg komen!

edria says:
hwahwah

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
uda gue bales

arrhythmias tachycardia says:
hauahauhauah

eh....

Hari ini gue menimbang-nimbang, merasa-rasa dan mencicip-cicip.... setelah berpikir hampir stengah hari lamanya dan menelpon sana sini akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk BACK OUT dari mid term test gue besok.
GUE GA SIAAPPP!!!! setelah dengan percuma gue membakar habis weekend gue kemaren dengan blajar *dan upload lagu-2 jugaa.. hehe* ternyata semua usaha sia-2.

Skr pikir aja deh. Besok mid-term itu 20% hasil total. 10%-nya lagi itu individual assignment yg so pasti gue yakin bisa dapet bagus. Kalo besok gue turn up utk mid-term tes dan gagal..... gue akan kehilangan 20% gue ituuu dan kalo gue ga turn up besok, gue masih bisa claim dari final exam. Jadiii... Final exam gue harus TOKCER!!! hehehe...

FYI... subject yg besok mau mid-term itu IT. sambil blajar sambil nyanyi "You drive me CRAAAAZZYYYY!!!!"

Mid-term test high

ugh... hate it when the mid term test is coming in 2 days time... I am not ready to face it yet. I study today. I'll forget tomorrow. A bit low morale but I have to keep on telling myself that i can make it. I've learnt that faith can save your ass. No joke... Things will really turn out just like what you'd think it would be. But i just hate it when I have to study some boring subject. It's IT for goodness sake!!I just can't imagine how the hell those IT people study... Don't you find it boring?? No offense, but it is for me..

Today's Office...

My Treat of the day... Java Chips!!! An it's nice!!!


Our dear GM aka Ground Maggot suggest me to take the Taiwan's "2 0 5" act cute pose. So i did it... not alone...


~~~~"2...!!!"~~~~~~~ "0..!!!"~~~~~~~~ "5...!!!"~~~~~~

Dejavu

I met him yesterday. After almost 3 years, he still looks as good as before. A little bit older of course but he just feels the same. I was nervous (with no reason) and I felt awkward a bit. I dunno whether he feels it or not. But he commented that it was not awkward at all.
Think back when we were still used to each other, it was very sweet. He was the only person that i could talk to. He was the only person that had the same thought as i do. But now, everything had changed. Or maybe I had changed so much till It was so awkward to talk to him. I could not talk. I dunno what to talk about. He was the one who actively ask me and talk to me. I was just.... sigh...
I wish i could turn back time. If only I can talk more to him. If only i can press the awkwardness that happened inside me yesterday. If only i could hide my nervous feeling that i had. If only....
I was quite sad after the meetings. I was sad for the fact that ... everything was not done like what i expected it should be done. I felt everything was wrong!!

What our boss bought us from KOREA!

His Farm

We went to his farm last Sunday and I took several pictures out of it including the "KIDZ" (aka dogs!!). Well... here they are....


This is "Si Putih" ("white").
He is sort if the leader of the troops. He is brave but some how very playful puppy (yes he is not more than 1 year old. 10 months I think).
Because of this playful and cuddly behaviour, we call it "Kucing" (cat).









This is "Si Hitam" ("Black").
The opposite of "Si Putih". He has rather small built compare from others, very shy, scary cat dog. He do not bark, do not want people to touch him. We keep him cos we do not have the heart to throw him away. I didn't allow it to be thrown away though..






This is "Si Bogel" ("Short").
We call it "Bogel" (Short) because she is very very short and small. But she is the 'Flower' of the troops. 3 weeks ago, all the male dogs fight over her. Cos at that time, she just finished her period. Woo...
But the lucky thing is, she is not pregnant.




This is "Si Coklat" ("Brown").
The biggest dog. The fattest among all. he is very cheeky and playful. But not a very brave one. Another cat..........









This is "Si coklat ga ada buntut" ("no-tail-brown").
Rather confusing when you have 2 similar brown dog. The farm worker decide to cut away the tail for this dog. They cut it when he is still very very young. This dog is very independent. He can find food for himself. But not a very brave one. Quite a quiet one.







This is "Si Putih Cewe" ("Female-white")
Another independent dog. She is a female but i think she has not have her first period yet. Cos if yes, The neighbour dogs will come to look for her also.





This is "Si Paman" ("The uncle")
Yeah this is the uncle of the "KIDZ". My fave dog. The oldest among all. Quite and a very good dog. But he barks whenever he needs to.





I took several pictures from the farm also. Some nice view... (Click on the pics for bigger picture)
















Picture 1,2 and 3 is the view of his farm. See the white gate surround the farm? That shows hoe big the farm is. It is about 6 acre. We also have chili plant that produce a lot of chili every day. We mean DAMN A LOT of chili EVERYDAY. That I can consider it to be my next business. Haha..
See the blur picture? That is a dead fish. The funny thing is, after some inspection, this fish died because it eat too much. The stomach burst out. Stupid fish.....

My Prayers

My Lord...
Maybe I have forgotten about You
Maybe I have said nasty things about You
Maybe I have lost my faith in You
Or maybe I have turn my back to You.

My Lord...
Here I am once again kneeling upon Your face
Begging You for Your kindness
Regretting what I have done all this while.
Hope You still have a space somewhere in Your heart to forgive me.

My Lord..
I am nothing in Your eyes
I am just a single dust that fly away when the wind blows me.
I am just a nasty piece of human to You.

Please forgive me for everything that I have done.
Please give me chance to fix what i have destroyed.
Please hold my hands one more time.
Please carry me in Your arms again when I fall.
Please God... Please forgive me.

no more questions.

Why do you think i can leave you alone? Why do you think i have the strength to walk away from you?

You said there are plenty guys outhere for me. I knew it. I have been with that plenty guys outhere and I can't find anyone or anywhere called home.

I have found you, I have loved you and I will stay with you. That is not my promise. That is what i planned for my life. And you can't force me or even just ask me to change what i have planned. That is it. Nothing will change.

I am not blinded by love. I love you, yes. I am too tired to start a new love life all over again. I am too lazy to deal with heartache again. Too busy with my own stuffs to find someone new.

Please just don't ask me again whether i want to leave you or not. I guess you should know what my answers are. Just don't waste your energy to ask me any more questions. I have not enough of tears to spare.

Funny Ads!!

Thai Ads. *I felt sooo touched and sad after watching this*


Japanese Ads. *Cute!*


Thai Ads. *Rather stupid though HAHA...*

Picture

There is something wrong with this picture. Look carefully.
Found it?
confuse...? me too when i took this picture. Hahaha...

hmm

School holiday now. Felt a little bit release after the exams. I still can't believe I can answer business law's questions. It should be okay. It should pass at least....

I'm going to have my last semester start next week. I started to think what should I do after I finish my school. Suddenly I see everything became stagnant. I go to work and come back home to cook, clean the house and that's it. I have to find things to do.

The thing is.. it is so ironic. When I had a lot of things to do I will complain that I have no time to finish all the things that I have to do. When I have nothing to do, I start to find things to do and nag that I have not much things to do. Weird.. well.. it's human things I guess..

Well... let's go back to the day when I can answer all the business law questions. I was so happy after the exams. 3 of us, me and my classmates bought TOTO and hoping that we can strike most of the numbers plus i bought several numbers for 4D. Anyway... both of those also did not strike. What a lousy gambler I am. I almost strike th 4D but instead of buying 6542 i bought 6532. Missed by one single digit. Damn pathetic!

After the exam, we went to the KTV. It's my classmates' friend's KTV. It was empty. We were the only customer that came since they are open until they are close. We drank a lot and until one of my classmate had to go for jackpot. I chip in money for the jackpot and he told me that I have to get prepared to lose my S$50. I told him I am ready. And indeed when the next day he called me, I've lost my 50 bucks.

Moral of the story, i can't gamble and those who want to gamble, please do not include me in your group. Haha....

exam stress

alright.. my exam date is coming soon in exactly 2 weeks time. 3 subjects and what i have now is only 1 subject's text book. where's the others?? it is passing around among my classmate and they need to copy it.

My nerves, my joints, my muscles and even the smallest muscles of mine are tensing up. As though i am sitting in the electrocute chair and ready to take my last deep breath before i could die. It really tenses up until my brain start to think about all the negative possibility i could get.

Oh pathetic me... I have been facing a lot of failure yet i have to suffer this feeling again to get another failure. Not failure again I hope. but who knows. No one will know what this could turn out. If it turn out right, I'll be the happy bunny jumping up the sky jumping over the jingling bells to the seventh sky.

Oh... talking about bunny and bells, you guys should try this funny, stupid yet addictive game. You should try to challenge yourself to beat your own high score. go to http://ywlt.com/flash/0bells.swf and let yourself get addicted to it.

Pray hard... yes that's what i can do.. pray hard that my hands can just start writing all the answers in the exam paper. pray hard that some lucky angel will sit beside me and whisper me all the answers. Pray hard that the bunny rabbit will appear in my dreams tonight and tell me what are the question that will be for the exam pray pray pray....
i think i'll play the rabbit now... hopefully it can reduce my stress tonight. I'll count down the dooms day start from tomorrow....

too many too much

I'm stuck. I am breaking down. I just couldn't continue anymore. all the hectic life i've been making. My body just couldn't take it anymore.

I thought It would be so easy to be in a better position in life. I thought it would be like as easy as blinking your eyes to get a better life. Now i;m breaking down and I just wish to just runaway from everything that i'm doing right now.

I am breaking down. I thought what i have decided to do this year would not be that hard. It is just studying and working. It is just studying and working and tearing my body down.
I've been a sickly woman these couple of months and I'm angry to myself of being that sickly.

How I wish time could stop and let me rest. How I wish every night that I will never open my eyes tomorrow. How I wish I will never see the sunlight anymore How I wish i could just dissappear from this world. How i wish everything could stop. I am sick of all these. Just let me rest. Just let me rest in peace...

The one from the past with unknown date

Sekali lagi malam menghampiri
dan aku disini duduk bersama bayanganmu
dan kerinduan memeluk jiwaku
terasa dingin dan sepi.
Saraf telingaku mengharapkan bisikan cintamu
dan aku hanya bisa menciptakan ilusi tentang dirimu.
Aku ingin menangis
tapi air mataku mungkin telah kering
atau mungkin saja bosan mengalir.
Dan aku hanya bisa begini
duduk bersama bayangan dan ilusi tentangmu.

TRANSLATION:

One more time darkeness night comes to me.
And I'm here sitting with your shadow
And loneliness embrace my soul.
My ear yearns your lovely whispers
and I can only create an illusion of you.
I want to cry
but my tears maybe have gone dry
or maybe my tears just don't want to flow out anymore.
I can only be like this
sitting with your shadow and illusions about you.

The one from 26thApril2001

You ever said that I will be in your heart,
I thought that it would.
You ever told me that you will love me
for the rest of your life.
I thought that it would.
But now you have someone new,
who filled your hear.
So let me be your past,
Who give you a sweet memory.
I will always keep you..
Here, deep down in my heart.

8:25 am

My Poem.

Here's what I have promised to upload... My old poems. Those in Bahasa, I've already made an effort to translate it. Enjoy!!

Aku disini sendiri
Sibuk dengan hatiku.
Memilah-milah isi hati.
Menimbang-nimbang rasa.
Membuang sampah memori.
aku temukan kau disini.
dihatiku.
Tak semestinya kau disini.
Kita memang bersama dalam raga.
tapi tak semestinya...
kau bertengger dihatiku.
Kusadari sekarang,
karna inilah airmataku mengucur.
Karna inilah...
Hatiku tertusuk-tusuk.
Aku tak semestinya mencintaimu.

Nina 14thMarch 2004 4:31 am.

TRANSLATION:

I am here alone.
busy with my heart.
Setting apart what's inside my heart from another.
Analayzing what does my heart feel.
Throwing all the rubbish memories.
I find you here.
In my heart.
You are not supposed to be here.
We are indeed together physically
But you're not supposed to stay in my heart.
I realised now..
Because of this my tears flow.
Because of this...
I feel my heart in misery.
I am not supposed to love you.

The memories, the house and him

I moved out from my old house early this month. had a lot of memories there. It was so hard for me to walk ut from that house. This was the first house I can call home. The house, the memories and him. Not so bad though, I can still bring along the memories and the him part but not the house. No money to buy that Condo yet. As you know as well, properties in Singapore already hit the 9th sky.

I went through my old stuffs last week. Found my old poem books. I read it with smile. I was amazed myself that I can be soooo romantic at times. It's partly in Bahasa Indonesia and English. I will try to upload it here one by one but only after this week. My dad is in town. So I won't go back home to take my poem book. I'm staying with him in the hotel...

So wait for those poems next week!!

Muppet Show again..

Still in Muppet Show Fever!

very very good video: COPACABANA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eek-XeZvHn0

This one is a must-see video!! FEELING
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCayacFcCX4

Muppet Show Day!!

Go and check out Muppet Show vidoes at youtube!

I miss Kermit!! He used to be my idol! :P

Here's my fave:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPAcUfF04vA&mode=related&search=

..My Bro..

I feel hype up this week though i feel tired and sleepy as well. My body been giving me a lot of trouble these couple of weeks. I'm still recovering from my attack, i'm having rashes for almost 3 weeks now. Not sure what's happening under my skin. Maybe it's rotting. Maybe it's decaying or something like that. Maybe all the maggot getting crowded and crowded inside my intestine. hahaha....

My brother came this weekend. I was very nervous meeting him. I felt that my brother was a stranger for me. I did plan how to open up our relationship again. In fact, he is a great person. It really feels good to have a brother again. We were separated for almost 10 years. He did his things and I did my things, seldom communicate with each other. I wonder can we maintain this realtionship? or is this jsut a one time thing? What should I do to keep everything in place?

Company trip to Bangkok 6th April 2007 - 9th April 2007

At Changi. Going Bangkok with my company. (Not everybody went. so sad.)
(left-right: Me, Boss Tan, Jasmine, Tang Yao. Photo taken by Ah Tan)

3 Vain Bitches (Ah Tan, Me, Ah Zenn)

Me and Ah Tan

On the plane. 3 bitches nothing to do

The first thing reached Bangkok, EAT!!

This is how big their menu.

FOOD!!!!

.......One Night In Bangkok.......

.....Morning Ceremony....

3 Bithces after breakfast.

Cute..

SOOOOOO CUUUUUTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!

The Tiny Chihuahua

The sleepy Pug. Even though i distrub him, he won't wake up...

Pomeranian. Very very tiny..

Bangkok's Chinatown!

Eat at MBK after tiring day of shopping.

One pretty baby at manicure shop

At lobby hotel

Us at restaurant

Us at plane

me on the plane.

Most of the time we shop in Bangkok. So we forgot to take picture of the events.

I'm Back

Yeah,... I'm back... I know it's been a while since i vomit out something to this blog. I realised I can't write as good as last time. you can browse my blog and compare my recent posts and old posts. It's like 2 persons blogging. I read my own blog couple days ago.. actually that triggers me to write today. Hoping that I will be able to blog regularly again in the near future and throw every single thing out from my head to this blog.
Anyways,... been super duper busy this year. It is true that earlier on this year, my dad look into the book of 2007 for chinese astrology. I will be very busy, fall sick easily but having more money than last year. Believe it or not... it is true... hehe...

I just finished my first semester of my business management diploma course. it is hard. but the more i study, the more i want to study. I think it does matter who pays for the school fee. I have not make up my mind for continuing my study to take degree. Is it worth it for me? *sigh... reminding me that I am the only one in the family who does not have a degree though I will have double diploma.

I called my hip-auntie 2 dys ago. She asked my whether I have plans for my future. I said no. It's so sad not knowing your ouwn plan for your own future. I am always scared everytime I think about my future. I don't know what i want. I want the time to freeze as today. I don't expaect tomorrow. I always hope tomorrow never comes. I want to live in today forever.

Hm... let's avoid talking something serious. Hmmm.. I should upload some photos of me and my activites...
Ha.. I will upload some. Let's hope that I still have the urge to update my blog in order to upload my photos.. *hoping*