And... Here it is ....... and suddenlyy....
Ok Let me start from the beginning.
I was in desperate mode to get more cash in my hand cos of some things happened to me. I've been modeling for about 6 months now. And I came across this opening. It's an opening for FHM Girls Next Door 2009. Desperate to get fame in order to roll in the cash as well, i sent a few of my pics afterward i felt ashamed to myself. As though there are 2 voices shouting at each other. "how can you send your own picture there? You think you are f***ing pretty? you think you are damn hot???" the other voice said "it's alright. it's just for fun. No harm done anyway. just forget about this."
So.... I followed my second voice. I started to forget that even though my other voice kept on screaming and i ignored it.
About a month and a half, FHM contacted my through email. It gave me a sudden blood rush to my brain and leashed out my sweat. ir stated that i was pre-selected for FHM top 100 GND. I asked around what it meant by pre-selected. Still need to go audition for top 100 or what??
Well... i needed to go to their studio for a photoshoot. it was about a week from the day i read the email.
I started my diet 3 days before the shoot. I had to. I have rather protruding stomach if i eat solid food.
The day of the photoshoot had arrived and i hadn't enough sleep the night before. I was excited, scared and restless. I scheduled my shoot at 4pm. I reached the studio 3.45pm to show that i treat this thing seriously.
When i was outside the studio, i saw one girl going off the studio. I guess she is a malay with a nice features and body. I was thrilled, devastated and my confidence start to drained out. I told myself, it's ok you're doing this just for fun. My confidence went back a bit.
I was told to fill in a form and read the statements behind the form. It stated there that i have already chosen as one of the top 100 GND. And i still couldn't believe it. It only made my whole body shook nervous and excited.
One of the guys asked me to get ready for my turn. I put on my make up byt i couldn't do it properly as my hands shook. I had to use 2 hands to apply mascara. one holding the mascara, one holding my other shaking hand putting my mascara. Now, make-up done and my bikini was done as well. Time to show my posing skill. hahaha...
So there i went in. It as less than 3 mins. It was like a .... blitz of a light and it was done!
So all the devastation and excitement were for that 3 minutes!
I went home and try to forget it.
I received an email yesterday night that my picture will be out on the 13th March 2009 for FHM top 100 GND. Thrilled and start to "book" my friend to vote me. So kiasu............. Haiz....
