NEW LIFE NEW AGE and NEW HAIRCUT!!!

I'm no longer in long hair. Short hair now. but nice though, some people said sweet *like candy????* some people said i look 5 years younger.*of cos without my cigarette!!* I like my new hairstyle, seems like i go back to last year where everything was still alright.

I'm alright actually. I look like last year but now I am even a stronger person than i ever be. I let people to hurt me but I let my heart grow stronger. I do not hate those who had hurted me so much. In fact, I want to thank them. Thank you for some good time that you had given to me. Thank you for giving my heart a chance to grow stronger.

I miss those good time though. I can't feel it again but it will always stays in my memory. I can only smile whenevr that memories come up to the surface. I can't deny that I miss you. But my heart said I need to move on. I'm moving on. That is why I'm trying very hard for the last few days to hold myself for a while. Thinking what we had done, Claming myself and learn how to walk again. I was walking with you, you held my hands so that i would not fall. But that time, you ran away from me suddenly. I fell. I cried. But I do not give up. I can walk myself without anybody holding me. Thank you for making my legs of life stronger. Thank you for waking me up from my dream. Thank you for everything that you gave me. I will see you maybe one day. But when the day come, I will be very much stronger than I am now.

And now all is over

"it's not you. It's just... I'm seeing someone and it's not fooling around. what we're doing will stop."

Goodbye. I'll just wait for you here. If that someone ever hurts you, you can turn around and have a shoulder to cry on. I'll be here and I try to be happy for you. You'll see me cry maybe. But just ignore me. Soon it'll be over. Or maybe it wont be over.

Too many memory in my head about you. I will need some times to erase it. Everything. Cos I am trying to prevent my eyes from crying, hold all my tears and re-create the smile on my face. The scar that you gave me wont heal. It can't be healed with anything. It will still bleed forever.
Those memory in my head are like an endless video tape playing on my brain. It is the hardest thing to move on. So hard until I have to bang my head on the wall to make the pictures go blur. the pain makes my heart stop and strangles my neck to stop breathing. I want to die. So that you can live happy without me annoying you. I'll die in a very peaceful way. I wont let you know about it. And i'll tell everybody not to tell you that I die. I want you to be happy. I'm happy to die cos I do not want to feel the broken heart which is the scariest thing for me to feel. I'll die cos I do not want to see you with her. Send my regards to your friends that know me before. I wont be around you and tell them that you've hurted me so bad.

Goodbye. I am still hoping that you realise how much I love you. Love, is the words that i never say to you cos you didn't want me to say it to you. You know.. I said this everytime I see your face, everytime you slept beside me. And everytime I'm thinking about you. I love you. That what i was trying to say all this time.

Love is so painful. It will not be painful if I die. GOODBYE.